I’m not sure what I’m experiencing but recently I feel really extremely tired due to not being able to fall asleep well at night. I always wake up feeling exhausted despite the amount of hours I slept. I’m so tired that I even started losing appetite and eating feels like it requires a lot of energy. Focusing during work is really hard and when my superiors leave me with free time, I find it really hard to be productive. I try not to nap after work so I can maintain that exhaustion in hopes of being able to fall asleep easier at night, but it doesn’t work. I’m practically a living zombie right now (if that’s even a thing).
Recently I’ve also been feeling sad from being left out by my coworkers. The three of us used to talk and chat a lot but somewhere along the line it just became the two of them. Our conversations are shallow and it doesn’t last long. I mentioned about playing Splatoon 2 with my coworkers, but that’s just because one of them sent an invitation in our gaming group of 8 people. Otherwise, most of the time it’s just those two playing together. I never received a direct invitation to join their gaming session even though they probably know I’m online from my Switch status. It makes me feel isolated and unwanted for some reason. Though that’s probably just my head making everything seem worse than it really is. Maybe living alone for so long and having no real human interaction is slowly turning me crazy.
Of course, I try to not push these feelings away. They say it’s not good to deny what you’re feeling at the moment. But then I don’t know how to get rid of it either. Lol. I thought I’m used to these kind of stuff but in the end I’m just a human after all.
Luckily I’m getting a 4 day holiday this week so I’m gonna use that to the fullest to try to recuperate.