Daily Monday

Burnout? Feeling left out?

I’m not sure what I’m experiencing but recently I feel really extremely tired due to not being able to fall asleep well at night. I always wake up feeling exhausted despite the amount of hours I slept. I’m so tired that I even started losing appetite and eating feels like it requires a lot of energy. Focusing during work is really hard and when my superiors leave me with free time, I find it really hard to be productive. I try not to nap after work so I can maintain that exhaustion in hopes of being able to fall asleep easier at night, but it doesn’t work. I’m practically a living zombie right now (if that’s even a thing).

Recently I’ve also been feeling sad from being left out by my coworkers. The three of us used to talk and chat a lot but somewhere along the line it just became the two of them. Our conversations are shallow and it doesn’t last long. I mentioned about playing Splatoon 2 with my coworkers, but that’s just because one of them sent an invitation in our gaming group of 8 people. Otherwise, most of the time it’s just those two playing together. I never received a direct invitation to join their gaming session even though they probably know I’m online from my Switch status. It makes me feel isolated and unwanted for some reason. Though that’s probably just my head making everything seem worse than it really is. Maybe living alone for so long and having no real human interaction is slowly turning me crazy.

Of course, I try to not push these feelings away. They say it’s not good to deny what you’re feeling at the moment. But then I don’t know how to get rid of it either. Lol. I thought I’m used to these kind of stuff but in the end I’m just a human after all.

Luckily I’m getting a 4 day holiday this week so I’m gonna use that to the fullest to try to recuperate.

September 2021 Update

There’s nothing much going on with my life at the moment, which is great, I guess. If there are notable events, it’d be that I got my 2nd shot of vaccine two weeks ago. I also finally received an ID card that I applied for 4 months ago (god damn it, Japan) and finally started to apply for a new bank account so I can move my savings there.

I’m not sure if it’s my slow brain, or my environment is slowly killing me. I can’t seem to focus at work as much. Most of the things I learn or hear during the training session just doesn’t seep in. My memory sometimes fails me since I couldn’t even recall what I did, learned, or ate the other day. Maybe I’m slowly going nuts lol. (I do go out once every week for fresh air and groceries, though).

As for my weekends, I just spend them either sleeping, cooking, or playing games, as usual. I’m still playing Genshin and I occasionally play Splatoon 2 when my coworkers invite me. But the most recent game that I’ve just cleared is Eastward.

Eastward was just released 3 days ago (September 16th) by a Shanghai developer Pixpil. I don’t know how to exactly describe this game, as it’s literally a mix of everything nostalgic, yet feels new at the same time. It’s a 2D post-apocalyptic RPG with stunning pixel art and catchy soundtracks. The characters are lovable and dialogues are written well. (Oh and did I tell you this game is hugely influenced by EarthBound?) Battle mechanics and puzzles can be quite challenging, so it can be a bit difficult for some people to clear the game. (I had to reset my battles so many times just to be able to pass a certain stage because I suck lol).

In the near-future, society is starting to collapse, and the human population is at an all-time low. A deadly toxic presence has spread across the land, destroying and devouring everything in its path.

I felt that sense of satisfaction after beating the final boss in the game but was left a bit confused to why the events in the game happened in the first place. I guess all I can do is use my imagination. I could definitely give the game a rerun since I didn’t unlock all of the achievements and upgrades, but I can’t spend another 15 hours on it. I’ll probably reconsider if they add a feature to skip cutscenes… Anyway, for $24.99, I think this game is awesome! Overall, I give this title a 9/10.