I guess I’m forever an outsider

*Please think of this as a dump post.

This post correlates to the previous one where I was feeling left out by my coworkers.

That feeling soon disappeared for a whole month since I participated in a lot of their gaming sessions, but yesterday, I suddenly felt left out again after I found out that one of my colleagues text the other proactively each day when it takes almost forever to reply to mines. And heck, their replies are short and it doesn’t seem like they’re putting any effort to continue the conversation that I started. Well, I’m sure people have priorities and that’s natural, but I can’t help but feel sad over something trivial like this haha.

I’ve always had the mindset that being proactive is important, but at the same time, it’s disheartening when you see the opponent doesn’t do the same for you. Maybe it’s best for me to just classify my coworkers as acquaintances instead of friends. It feels kinda sad to have to downgrade a relationship, but I think that’s best for my own feelings as well.

Because of this, I’m slowly reverting to my old mindset where other people don’t really matter lol. Although I know that’s not true, I think my brain is automatically trying to defend myself by changing my own mindset.

Comments

One response to “I guess I’m forever an outsider”

  1. Hanako Avatar

    I think what you’re feeling is 100% normal. I would feel the same way, and sometimes work “friends” is just what it is. Friends that you only see at work and talk to at work. I’m guilty of leaving people out that want to be friends outside of work, but I always felt like they wouldn’t click with my group of friends outside of work. Sometimes, when you leave work and that person stays, you drift. Or if you both quit, then you’ll find out that they never want to talk to just because that was the only connection (which was easy and convenient.)

    It’s awful, but you’ll get use to the people coming and going in your life. I know that’s not something you probably want to hear, and I’m sorry for that! Again, I’m always here. If you ever need to chat, please message me on Discord. 🙂

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