Maybe it’s because I’m a super pessimist, but I don’t understand how people can stand again after facing so many failures. They always say it’s only over when you give up. But when situations look so bleak and depressing, how do people stay positive and strong?
I’m currently having a hard time picking myself up after facing lots of rejections. Well, I don’t usually face one, but now that I experience it non stop, it’s kinda hard to not lose self-confidence. I hate how fragile I am.
People around me have been telling me to not think too much about my failure and keep moving forward. But I can’t find the strength to do that as of now. Everything I do seems pointless and all the efforts I made seems fruitless.
In the back of my head, I understand what I must be doing. I know what steps I must take to pick myself up. But my mindset of ‘doing this has no meaning’ lingers in my mind, making me unable to take any action.
Aah, I really envy positive people.
Random edit: Fruits Basket S2 Ep. 9 has got to be the most bittersweet episode I’ve ever seen. Poor Kyo. 😥
It is hard to pick yourself back up. Sometimes people fall into depression and need medication to help. Maybe you’re one of those people. There’s nothing wrong with getting help. And I’m not optimistic either, and there’s nothing wrong with that. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. I wish I could offer more to help. I would say, move here! But it’s not easy finding a job here either. Not unless you want to work retail. Maybe consider trying to get more scholarships and majoring in something else? If I were you, I would spend some time at home with my family. And find some distractions to keep your mind busy, but if you’re like me, that’s hard to do. That’s usually when I started doodling, or hand sewing. Perhaps a good book, but then again, I like the idea of reading. Maybe try painting with acrylics? I would write every day what’s on your mind, even if it’s just “F*ck this job application process”. Then find a pillow to scream into. Or find an “angry” activity to do (listen to loud, angry music, play darts, throw hatchets? (Yes, throwing hatchets is a thing in the US. I’m still trying to figure out why.) Try working with clay? Get your hands dirty? If you like sweets, maybe try baking your favorite sweet? I’m sorry, I’m not much help. I’m just as much as a mess you are. The only reason I get up every day is because of my daughter. Otherwise, I don’t think I would get up. I try to distract myself with things all day, even if it just chores. If you start to feel like or even thought of hurting yourself, please get some help. Life as an adult is hard. There’s a lot more bad times then they’re good times. It really sucks the older you get.
I appreciate you taking the time to comment on my blog. I had deleted it in fear… I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels that way. It’s just hard. I feel like I’m spiraling out of control. I don’t even know who I am anymore. Anyways, how are you feeling? Any better? Take a vacation to Florida? We got Magic Kingdom, Typhoon Lagoon, Animal Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, Epcot, Disney Springs, Universal Studios, Islands of Adventure, Volcano Bay, CityWalk, Busch Gardens, Adventure Island, Seaworld, Dinosaur World, Weeki Wachee Springs, and so much more. If you ever decide to vacation in Orlando, let me know. Perhaps I can arrange a day where we could hit up a park or two (without my family)?
I hope my comment at least helps in a way. I’m doing better compared to a few days ago. I’ve started picking up new job applications and managed to schedule some appointments for a career consultation and thesis discussions. I feel like I’m finally able to make a bit of progress even though it’s small.
I would definitely love to visit Florida when everything stabilizes in the future! Sounds like a very fun place to blow off your steam. 😆