Daily Monday

It almost seemed like August never happened

I honestly cannot recall what I did this month if I didn’t have my journal. It feels like I didn’t do much and suddenly it’s September. I do remember spending quite a lot on stuff and having a somewhat nice birthday. But other than that, the days pretty much blend together.

I treated myself to a lot of stuff

I bought myself a wallet and a pair headphones that I’ve been wanting to get for a long time and I’m loving it. Although, I’m trying to push back my spendings, I decided to go a bit extreme this time since there’s also my birthday. I am happy and satisfied with my purchases, though. Getting nice things for yourself once in awhile feels good.

Taking a short break from job hunting

I think I was able to distance myself a bit from this stressful activity due to the advices given from Hanako and one other friend. But then again, the biggest reason was probably because I couldn’t mentally and physically handle it anymore at that point. It’s probably due to stress and depression, but I would find myself hungry but not having any appetite to eat, feeling constantly drowsy to the point I crashed on the floor, or waking up in the morning but not wanting to get out of bed at all.

Things have slightly gotten better after I tried not to push myself to do stuff, though. I started gaming on my PC after a long time and it was really nice to have this feeling of accomplishment from getting achievements in-game. It makes you feel that you’re actually capable of something.

I’m graduating in 17 days

The results of my job-hunting visa application will be announced tomorrow along with my graduation status. Whether I will leave or stay in Japan depends on that announcement. I honestly don’t really think much about it anymore. Something in the back of my mind wishes that I actually don’t get it so I can go home for good. But we’ll see.

That aside, graduation feels super unreal. It feels like I only came to Japan yesterday and suddenly I’m graduating already. Four years did go by real fast. Ceremonies will be held online, obviously. I wasn’t gonna buy a graduation gown and cap since I never saw the point of owning it if you’re going to wear it only once. But my mom insisted on me buying it so she could take a picture with me in it once (or if) I return to Indonesia.

I was never a picture person. I don’t even have my graduation pictures from elementary school up to high school. I thought I wouldn’t even look at it and I’ll still meet my friends again somewhere. But for some reason, I feel like I should at least take one last picture together with my small group of friends this time. Who knows, maybe you’ll never see them again.



A 22 y.o child at heart and office worker. Spends most of her free time browsing YouTube and playing RPG games. Has an attention span of 3 seconds and sucks at organizing her thoughts.


  1. I feel like I been living in a blur since being quarantined back in March, so I can understand how you felt like August just flew by. In fact, I’m shocked that it’s already September. Honestly, I don’t think you should feel bad for spending a little extra money on yourself! You deserve it! I’m also glad that you found someway to relieve stress and depression! I love video games for that reason too! Also, I didn’t realize you’re graduating so soon! Congrats! What an achievement! And don’t start stressing yourself all over again. Take time to reflect on how well you did and what you have accomplished! I know afterwards is terrifying, but you need to look on the bright side of things! (I know it’s hard though).

    1. Thank you! The university just released the official announcements for the graduation and Visa application results. I was able to receive the recommendation letter from the school. So now all I need to do is apply to the immigration once I receive it. You’d think things will be good after the announcement but no, you still have to go through another screening process. What a pain. Lol.

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