Shifting back to reality

I didn’t realize that my 2 months holiday will be over in less than a week and that I need to go back to university and undergo my last year to graduate. Which means I also need to do find jobs soon.

I am actually torn between continuing education and finding a job. During my first year, I thought I could just push this topic aside and leave it for the future me. Now I’m just lost.

I want to continue university but I feel bad doing it at the same time. It’s really costly without scholarships and I don’t know if I should be living an easy life off my parent’s money. I feel guilty doing that when I know my other friends are going independent and getting their own income. On the other hand, I love just being a student because I get days off and 4 months holiday a year just to go back and see my parents. There’s nothing like that when I enter the workplace.

I do eventually plan to go back to Indonesia if I start working in Japan since I’m not really a fan of Japan’s working environment. It’s just too extreme for me and especially because I’m a woman. I know Japan’s trying to fix this gender issue but I still think it won’t change much in the future until they all realize that they’re gonna go extinct.

From what I have experienced in my internship here, I think I’ll suit the working environment here better since they still treasure personal time. Of course, working here and working in Japan has its own ups and downs, but being in a place where it feels like home is a big plus for me.

With that being said, I’m still not sure with the path I’m supposed to take. If I go for graduate school then that means I need to start writing a thesis. And I don’t like writing. And I’m lazy. (The school does not require us to write thesis to be able to graduate.)

Why on earth did I wish to be an adult when I was small.